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Today’s report in the San Francisco Chronicle about Jason Giambi's reported testimony that he used steroids, and this Friday’s planned report on ABC’s 20/20 of Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative (BALCO) founder Victor Conte in which Conte alleges he supplied illegal performance-enhancing drugs to a number of athletes, has helped me understand why I continue to struggle with speycasting--after two solid years of effort—while others excel.

Could it be that performance-enhancing drugs have made their way into our sport?

Of course this sounds silly at first; I know it did to me as well when the thought first occurred to me while sipping my nonfat caramel macchiato latte at Evon’s Pedicure in east Ballard. But then the recognition of so many unexplained observations suddenly came into focus, and became as clear as discharged beer after an all-night keger.

I will present here some evidence for your consideration. This will undoubtedly trigger your recollection of similar events that you have witnessed that I encourage you to share them here as well.

First, but in no particular order, is Ryan P, (aka Sparkey). Spey Caster extraordinaire. Have you ever noticed that whenever you see pictures of Ryan fishing, and those of you that have fished with him will also attest, that he invariably wears loose-fitting waders and torso camouflaging outerwear? “What’s with that?”, we have all asked ourselves. Well, I have it on good authority from a nurse’s aid at his HMO that beneath this opaque attire hides a chiseled physique of a man’s man that would make greek gods green with envy. When I challenged Ryan with this he eventually disclosed that, yes, he was selected--over 1200 other contenders--as the model for the semi-nude bust that now resides over Albequerque’s GMAC Stadium.

Second, we all read with great interest the story from last year in Speypages when Juro (a gentleman I have not had the opportunity to meet) hosted the 4th annual Little Rock, AR Speyclave. As luck would have it, the Little Rock Chamber of Commerce was also hosting the GlobalRider Biker’s Rally and Pro Arm Federation Arm Wrestling Tournament. No one could explain at the time the amazement of all when we learned that Juro—on an alleged whim—had entered and easily won the Men’s Open Arm Wrestling Class, beating out perennial winner Jake Balbo of Full Throttle Soloon.

Third, every spring for about three weeks Homer2handed (aka Brian) can never be found on any of his favorite Northwest rivers. We hear Stories from him later about having a touch of the flu, or visiting his family, etc. and these have satisfied us during these extended absences. It only now becomes clear after confirming that H2H participates annually every year in the EcoChallange Expedition Race. That is where he is every April. Competing against professional Eco-athletes half his age over a grueling 300 mile courses (mountain biking, river rafting, horseback riding, mountaineering, etc) HTH’s team has finished in the top 6 three years in a row.

These are just a few icons of our sport that not only exhibit supreme spey mastery that stays out of reach for the rest of us, but they also exhibit the strength and physical abilities well beyond their years.

So, this evening, after my pedicure (I have my most wonderful insights during these and would highly recommend them to you all) I decided to stop by Speybum’s RRA shop (K1, I was at his shop tonight when you called him) to confront him with the possibility that his beloved sport was perhaps awash with artificially improved imposters. Speybum, Speybum, how could I break this news to him? Then a dead calm came over me. Speybum, himself has a not so secret history known to many I remembered. An amorous past littered with colorful escapades more traditionally associated with rock stars and millionaires. But just how has Speybum sustained this into his later years. Why, I ask, was it reported just last month in the Carnation Chronicle in an article entitled “Men Of Our Time in Rural Washington” was Speybum described as a “…man with the sexual appetite and endurance of a seventeen year old” among other disclosures that I do not feel comfortable repeating here in Speypages. This revelation, I feared, meant that perhaps Speybum was also involved in this conspiracy. I approached him cautiously.

But I stood tall with purpose as I walked in his shop tonight, and I asked him straight away. Somehow he diverted me or just a moment, then he flashed a new Meiser MKS rod in front of me, and it wasn’t until hours later, when I was driving home that I realized the master had distracted me off topic.

I will see him on Saturday and I won’t be so easily had.

So I ask you all to ponder long and hard about what you have read here and what it could mean for your beloved sport. Offer up your own observations that support this. Could this possibly explain why some folks have a mastery of spey that defies mortal explanation?

Perhaps we should consider mandatory drug testing at all future Speyclaves. It’s time to level the playing field.
 

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Steelhead are cool!
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Of course this sounds silly at first; I know it did to me as well when the thought first occurred to me while sipping my nonfat caramel macchiato latte at Evon’s Pedicure in east Ballard. But then the recognition of so many unexplained observations suddenly came into focus, and became as clear as discharged beer after an all-night keger.
Mr. Loop,

It is that nonfat sweet ass latte that is doing you in. Next time order a latte with
whole milk. I don't think you're ready for half n half yet. Me, I'm heavy cream all the way baby. Look out I am feeling crazy. :eek:
 

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Junkyard Spey
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Hey DLoop...

I think you need to go fishing!
 

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Mr Loop

I think you need to stop hangin out at Evon's pedicure and hit the river man :chuckle: !!!! As far as the boss is concerned, we always knew he had it goin on :smokin:
 

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www.Willie the pusher.co.uk

Porridge for breakfast, haggis for lunch and whisky for tea. I can do a months supply for $1000 US contact me off line. I can do a meet, I’ll be wearing neoprene’s and dark glasses.
 

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Spey Casting Cocktail

Here is the lastest Spey Casting Performance Enhancing Cocktail for aspiring members of the 50-yard club:

-2 Scoops of BALCO's "Hit It Out Of The Park Like Barry" mystery powder

-1 Tablespoon of GLX Graphite Powder (to increase flexibility of right arm)

-Hair of Goran Andersson's dog

-1 serving of Haggis (Scottish dish consisting of seasoned sheep's offal mixed with suet and oatmeal boiled in a bag made from the animal's stomach. Very manly.

-10-12 ounces of Dalwhinnie Scotch (for Spey casting juju)

Put contents in a blender, and serve. Results are immediate.
 

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Steelhead are cool!
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Topher,

You forgot two things. 1 pint of Guiness and one of Malcom's bazillion Perfects. :hihi:
 

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Two drops of Airflo's "Turbo Shoot" placed under the tongue is a remarkable substitute for BALCO's popular--and now very hard to get--"The Clear."
 

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Willie

That picture was not female.
 

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Coast2coast Flyfishaholic
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"Rumors of my strength...

...are greatly exaggerated

Unless you are referring to my body odor after winning that tourney. ;) ;)

and there was NO SEX VIDEO!!

(great humor!)
 

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Indicators Anonymous
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846 Posts
DLoop said:
First, but in no particular order, is Ryan P, (aka Sparkey). Spey Caster extraordinaire. Have you ever noticed that whenever you see pictures of Ryan fishing, and those of you that have fished with him will also attest, that he invariably wears loose-fitting waders and torso camouflaging outerwear? “What’s with that?”, we have all asked ourselves. Well, I have it on good authority from a nurse’s aid at his HMO that beneath this opaque attire hides a chiseled physique of a man’s man that would make greek gods green with envy. When I challenged Ryan with this he eventually disclosed that, yes, he was selected--over 1200 other contenders--as the model for the semi-nude bust that now resides over Albequerque’s GMAC Stadium.
Dave, I think you may have me confused with my alter ego Sparkles. I am no Spey Caster extraordinaire and the following picture will prove that I do NOT have the "chiseled physique of a man’s man that would make greek gods green with envy!"


:eek: :eek: :eek:
 

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Ryan,

Did your start doing porno movies again because Dennis wont give you a raise? Tattoos and a couple shady guys off to the side rolling video. What a life you lead.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Ryan,

I have to agree with Matt, that photo raises more questions than it answers.
 

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Speyshop's Speybum
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D-Loop

The cat is out of the bag.
What can I tell you many years of DRUGS , SEX and STEVIE NICKS,
Now it is Speyrods , Speycasting and Single Malt

D_Loop you really need some time off.

:lildevl: :smokin:
 
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